


Semesta

by Anonymous



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Headcanon, Hugs, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:48:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26478226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “Jaemin-ah, do you know about parallel universes?”Under the dim light from the barely appeared moon behind the closed curtain, he shouldn't be able to see anything. Yet, he saw everything.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39
Collections: Anonymous





	Semesta

And I’d choose you;  
in a hundred lifetimes,  
in a hundred worlds,  
in any version of reality,  
I’d find you and I’d choose you.

—Kiersten White, _The Chaos of Stars_

"Jaemin- _ah_ , do you know about parallel universes?"

Under the dim light from the barely appeared moon behind the closed curtain, he shouldn't be able to see anything. Yet, he _saw_ everything.

He saw himself, for the start. Na Jaemin was barely fifteen when he first met the speaking person next to him whose body nearly touched his in a slightest movement. It was after the rigorous and, undoubtedly, exhausting practice session. The aftermath always left them boneless and ready to hit the bed, uncaring of anything else, except there were some school works or finals coming up. But as a trainee in one of the biggest entertainment companies, school always came second. That was why, right now, when his step halted in the mid of SM corridor with his mind wandered to a warm comforter of his room, Jaemin got so confused. The new trainee—everyone was already knowing each other, they could recognize new faces anytime—looked at him.

The gesture was intricate. Not so scared, but had no oozing confidence. He was just there. Renjun was there. And finally, after a few seconds of silence, he smiled. Saying 'hello' and walking past Jaemin who greeted him back in an uncertain voice.

Jaemin could see the faint line of Renjun's side profile that rendered him stunned. His answer came as a whispery voice, cracking even, "Not really, tell me." It wasn't a lie. He had heard that before didn't mean he would magically pinpoint the exact theory Renjun's mind had to offer. Or alternatively, just Jaemin with his magnificent attraction on Renjun's lulling talks about the universe.

"So, I watched a video where they think the universe will split whenever you made a certain decision. The probability will be branched and make another reality where you could be taking this decision, instead of the other. Does that make sense?"

"Probably." Jaemin encouraged. Renjun shifted his position so he was on his stomach, angled his head to meet Jaemin's gaze. "Where is the beginning of it? I mean, it's only the conclusion, right?"

"Right, right. It's kinda... complex. I don't know whether I understand this right or not."

It took a smile from Jaemin and, "It's okay, just continue. I'll listen anyway," for Renjun to finally let it out.

Renjun liked these things. He was drawn into it, obsessed might be the next level term but Jaemin would not be that cruel to label him as such. The interest was as grandiose as Renjun himself, in Jaemin's honest perspective. Renjun and the universe. He was ethereal like this.

Renjun could talk about how big the comparison between their bed with the scale of Betelgeuse—not like Jaemin actually knew how to pronounce that—Jaemin would nod. A movement meant for Renjun to continue. And the next, he would be imagining himself and Renjun in a some kind of ship, sailing in a pitch dark of space. It should haunt them, the feeling where they tried to measure their existence in this big, fast and vastly expanding infinity. Far from the earth, their home, their room, the exact bed they were on, and of course, themselves. Their nature, their thoughts, their job, their inner desire were forgotten and unattended.

Those nights would be spent with their legs entangled and hands wrapped tight in each other's. Ever finding the balance with the solid presence of their companionship.

"So," Jaemin thought, and suddenly was aware that he voiced it out loud. "It takes a cat?"

Renjun should be frustrated by his capability to catch abstract things like this, but no. He laughed. And it was not the type of laugh that would shame you of learning. It was an airy punch of endearment from Renjun's lungs. "Schrödinger's cat is not a _real cat_ , Jaemin, it's an experimental model."

"So, they don't really trap a cat to just see whether it's alive or not right?"

Renjun's eyes were visibly glinting, with fondness. "No, silly."

Upon hearing the confirmation, Jaemin nodded. Relieved. He weren't so certain that he wanted to ever listen to animal cruelty in the theoretical ground of Renjun's wanders.

Jaemin wasn't always with Renjun. There were days filled with an eerie blackout of contact when Jaemin took his hiatus. It was silly to ever doubt, to be scared, to be crying in anxiousness but their reconnection was instant.

"The cat would be in a state of both, dead or not dead," they had kept this habit whenever they talked in serious intentions, holding each other's stare like it was the second form of communication where they relayed the unruly messages from their scattered thoughts to, surprisingly, add more layers of meanings, more understandings. "Until the box is opened. So, everything could happen in prior."

Yes, it was exactly how his hiatus went. Like a cat kept in a box. Dark, unresolved, in an indefinite time. His stress did not actually help with his awaited recovery.

Renjun was the first person hugged him when he came back and that warmth flushed out everything negative in his systems. Gone. That was where the couple bracelet was originated from. Gratitude, a mountain of it.

The bed dipped under Renjun's weight when he adjusted for the second time. They were facing the ceiling when the ring of Renjun's words echoed. "But they said, whether the cat is dead or alive, the universe will split into two versions." He said, briefly added, "So every time something happens to us, we would be having more universes identical but playing the other probabilities that are not turning into reality."

Jaemin could physically sense the string that bounced back, hard and very much abrupt, when his world was shrinking into the sole presence of Renjun and him alone. His time of swarming around as a minuscule cosmic dust ended.

Probabilities played before his eyes. In another version of reality, Jaemin would possibly holding Renjun in his arms. In some nights, they weren't too stiff maintaining the distance between their limbs just because they were both afraid of consequences. Nor ripping their inarticulate gazes off of each other. Drawing invisible lines to, painfully, neglect the force of emanating enthrallment between two individuals whose responsibilities included a form of torturous standard they were asked to uphold.

It was, then, against the same reason when Jaemin could not not to ponder with his eyes. The second it latched onto the sight of Renjun's lips, he mused over the same sentence of their discussed theory. And to think that maybe in another universe he could do more than just staring, in some nights, it could be a real full-blown kiss—terrified him.

Progressively, it could be him brave enough to asked Renjun out. It could be them, panting in between silenced lips. It could be the world, falling apart yet it was so beautiful to grasp Renjun's waist and know that it was his to claim. It could be as simple as there was no signed contract labelled them to be off-limit for a relationship that was not widely accepted for the general public but specifically demanded upon in every single interaction they initiated with their own members.

It's not fair.

"Renjun- _ie_ ," Jaemin sounded breathless. The turning of Renjun's head mesmerized him and knocked even more air out from his already empty lungs. He chose closer, braver.

Renjun understood the gesture. He let Jaemin embrace his body frigidly. He let them digest the information that, in the split of so many universes, they could be together. And here they were, in a grievous reality where their thrumming heartbeats were the only signal of honesty exchanged mutually. Instead of words. So many unspoken words.

Huang Renjun had always been one with unwavering resolution, nonetheless, he admitted his defeat tonight by combing Jaemin's hair through his slender fingers. Feeling so much already in a very innocent manner.

"Nana- _ya_ ," he called back, his heart called back, and Jaemin was no one to ever ignore Renjun. Not when the word used this time was more sacred, more exclusive, more fluttering to Jaemin’s biased perception.

"Hmm?"

"In some universes," Renjun gulped, he wasn't ready for this. They weren't, and would never be. "There weren't you." He whispered, grieved, with so much loss.

It indicated the amount of pity he bore for those Renjuns and Jaemins who couldn't even meet each other, find their other halves like how they managed to in this unchanging and unnegotiable version of reality.

Jaemin caught the invisible reasons, completely. Pronounced in his slightly tightening wrap in Renjun's body, in his sneaking arms to find Renjun's own in the intention of intertwining their fingers. The blood rushed to their head as the next level of confession discovered tonight. What they had might not be much, hence the loss was very well justified. However, they had a lot already that it was an impossible task to not cherish this intimacy altogether.

Their senses were flooded with one by one competitive electric signal wiring from where every part of their warm skin touched or, distinctively, caressed.

At the very least, they could dream of better days, couldn't they?

Time was a tricky ruler. Jaemin and Renjun had decided that they would like to switch the position already, that _they_ would rule their own time. Because well, the relativity element of the four-dimensional system allowed them to state, they had found their liberal version of eternity. Right here. Right now.

Both could not perceive the other's every everchanging expression due to their spark of turbulence transpired this night. Both were still certain that now, with their even breathing, the only expression would only be contentment.

"I'd rather not lose _you_ in this universe, _too_."

**Author's Note:**

> It's just me indulging myself in Physics theories past midnight while trying to convey them into a romantic scene of my favourite pair. Pardon my lack of understanding in this subject. Let me know if I shall revise the explanation, in case you find any mistakes here.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Stay safe, healthy, and happy!


End file.
